The Generation Gap (TGG)

I've decided to dispense with the popular labels for generations after the Boomers. Frankly, I can't remember what letter represents what generation. I know there's a Generation X and Y, and I think there's a C generation, but that's all I remember. I think a better tag for this generation is, well, TAG. The Acronym Generation.

These generations have the common trait of using acronyms and abbreviations for communications to the point where they are able to make incomprehensible statements faster than we Boomers ever dreamed of doing. The current fruition of this phenomenon is text messaging. Messaging allows TAG-ers to send cryptic messages to friends with both great speed. Judging by the cost, these messages must be pure gold since text messaging can result in spending hundreds of dollars per TAG-er every month.

I started on this rant during my recent vacation when I was trying to order a beer and was asked by a waiter if I'd like an IPA and then looked at me expectantly.

Since I was on vacation my wits weren't as sharp as they are on occasion and at first I thought he asked me to take part in an Initial Public Offering (IPO) of some stock. Since I was on vacation I wasn't interested in financial matters. I felt confused and wondered why an investment adviser was still working as a waiter. I mean, the Dot Com Crisis (DCC) was several years back. Surely all the Dot Com Millionaires (DCM) have recovered by now.

One I figured out that IPA could not be a three-letter acronym (TLA) for Initial Public Offering it was smooth sailing. I responded to the waiter's question with a clever, yet sincere, "What?"

"Would you like an IPA?" he responded quickly, hardly leaving room for me to type spaces betweens the words in his sentence. "WldulknIPA?"

This time I was ready for him and challenged him. "What's an IPA?"

"Indian Pale Ale."

Since I was looking for a darker beer or ale I nodded and all was copasetic. That's when I started noticing the lack of communication that occurs when TAG-ers talk.

The immediate cause of this article came about when I was trying to figure out what PNC in PNC Park, the home of Major League Baseball's Pittsburgh Pirates, stood for. It took me two Google searches to find an answer that made sense. It doesn't stand for anything. The company that used to be Pittsburgh National Bank paid for the naming the park, but the company now is Pittsburgh National Corporation and has combined with Provident National Corporation. At least that's what Tom Zemencik wrote in 2001. Even if he's wrong it makes sense to me so I'll pretend he's right.

HAND (Have a nice day).

Take care and say "excuse me all the way."
-The Rapidly Aging Baby Boomer